now, to be a Domme in NYC know that there are already a lot of very skilled Dommes here. it is a hard place to start. when starting out you will have that shiny new girl finish and if you are without a strong disposition and a true love of kink, you will not last long. you will be naive and clients will try to take advantage as much as possible. they are like children and dogs, they must be reminded and punished appropriately and often. the further along you get, the better you will get at this. some people are naturals at discipline and behaviour modification, others are naturals at humiliation, corporal, and so forth. you will find your niche. (more on finding you niche in another entry.)
I highly suggest starting at a dungeon because it will give you a crash course and you will have more experiences Dommes to learn from and work with. I'm still in touch with Dommes I worked with when I started years ago. Dommes are my favorite kinds of people. (another entry) if you do not feel this is for you, see if a more experienced Domme will take you under his/her wing. choose carefully. this person will have a huge impact on how you develop as a Dominant. it will not be unheard of for you to serve your Dominant mentor as a submissive. Some Dominant personalities could never serve as a submissive, they just don't have the capacity. I suggest it because being able to have that empathy for your slave/sub/bottom is extremely important. I think that understanding that trust and humility as a Dominant can make someone a wonderful and powerful Dominant. the best Dominants I have ever met are sweethearts, teddy bears and generous. they understand power exchange and will not hesitate to put you in your place if needed.
EXPERIMENT! FOR THE SWEET LOVE OF CHRIST EXPERIMENT!
some things will not be for you. some things will definitely not be for you! but you will never truly learn what you love, hate, and excel at if you do not try things. do it slowly and at your pace. choose partners you can trust and communicate well with. I try things I know I will probably hate with an open mind. you never know, the right experience can really be eye opening.
example: I used to hate my feet being touched. it would make me angry; but since I have such beautiful, well-formed feet, I got tons of request for foot worship so I decided to give it a try. now foot worship is one of my favorite things to incorporate into play. it was simply that my feet were incredibly sensitive so for me in seemed invasive. now, its incredible intimate.
and ask questions, tons of questions. be a 2-year old again. why? how? why again. learn the motivation, the sensation of activities.
read! there is now a ton of literature out there. the more you read, the more experience you gain, the more you will be able to establish what is good information and inaccurate information. same goes for porn. I love porn, but some BDSM porn does not accurately display what will be going on in a session with a Domme or you as a Domme. as long as you understand that, watch away!
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