"Career Call"-article for loyola university's LGBTIQ publication, part 2 by Claudia Typhoon

I assure you its not the most glamorous of occupations at all times.  I spent a lot of time writing emails and scheduling sessions.  I put a ad about once or twice a month.  I have a session at least once a week, as an independent in nyc that means $100-$300 per session.  (Industry standard currently but as a Domme becomes more skilled and gains time and experience, a rate sure to rise.)  Granted I get lots of spare time because of this to plan my Domme career, work on my art projects, socialize and such, but being an Domina is not a guaranteed income and that is hard for a lot of people.  To be a successful Domme you need to have a website, videos, perhaps sell “merchandise,” feature in magazines, model, et cetera.  This is what I am working on currently and will continue to build my reputation.

Being a Domme doesn’t simply mean that I whip people and bind them in chains.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve used if even seen either.  Being, becoming, and maintaining as a Dominatrix comes with the understanding of and climbing a very steep learning curve.  Other Dominas don’t want to give out their knowledge as its hard to come by and they do not want to encourage competition.  Also, being a  Dominant means that you need to be empathetic, able to read body language exceedingly well, and have a at least base knowledge of psychology.  Understanding how the experiences people go through shape them sexually is very important.  Each person is unique, but over time you will notice certain patterns emerge.  For example, people in powerful positions tend to be submissive in their sex lives because they need somewhere they can be vulnerable and have someone else take charge and make decisions.

Domina, Domme, Dom, Dominatrix, Dominant.  These words seem interchangeable but carry with them subtlties.  A Dominant is a person in a social or sexual situation that is in the position of power.  A Dominatrix is typically a female that practices BDSM for an income.  A Dominatrix may or may not enjoy BDSM in her own life.  A Domme is a female Dominant, a Dom, a male Dominant.  A Domina (which I identify as), is a female that practices BDSM both professionally and in her private life.  I’m sure you also notice that the D is capitalized.  In D/s, BDSM conversations it is typical to have the Dominant person indentified as being the person in power by capitalizing the D or the letter(s) of their name.  The submissive shows their position by referring to themselves in lower case or using language that places them as being the person that does not make decisions or holds any power within the D/s relationship.  Interestingly enough, the submissive holds a great deal of power within the D/s relationship.  I find that the submissive is the medium in which I express my sexuality.  The D/s dynamic is a beautiful and fulfilling when the chemistry is right between two individuals. 

"Career Call"-article for loyola university's LGBTIQ publication, part 1 by Claudia Typhoon

Becoming a professional Dominant is a pretty straightforward path.  For me it certainly was, which I take it to mean it was meant to be.  I had been interested in BDSM since I found out about it at 15.  Once I had moved to NYC, becoming a professional Dominatrix seemed to be something more attainable than the South I was raised in.

One day while looking for jobs on Craigslist I found an ad for women to work at a dungeon in Manhattan, no experience necessary.   I called and set up an appointment for a few days later.  The large and unfriendly woman asked me a series of questions; “what’s your level of experience, knowledge, interest in BDSM?”  BDSM meaning Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism.  She seemed to be testing me, watching my body language as she informed me that I had to be comfortable with bodily fluids and touching the assholes and such of strange men.  Later this would equate to a handshake instead of an eye-brow raising comment.  When she felt satisfied that I do not scare easily, she set up my schedule with me.  I would work at least 3, 8 hour shifts per week.  No guarantee of income, but $80 per session with potential for tips outside of that.  The dungeon charged $220 per session, (industry standard is currently $250 in NYC), the dungeon kept the other $140.  Since I had two other jobs at the time, I wasn’t worried about making money.

Dominant women, much like typical men in positions of power, are competitive and have erect egos that tend to bump into others and become irate when others do not move from their path.  I chose to remain quiet and out of the way my first few weeks, asking questions of the other women I felt may actually give me information instead of angry blast of insults.

My first session was a smoking session.  Something I enjoy, but my first was a departure from any subsequent ones I would have.  This was a forced inhalation smoking session.  The gentleman (who was a very lovely man) had an apparatus that was strapped to his face.  There was a tube that led to his mouth and nose.  He could only take in air through this hose.  I smoke cloves occasionally, but I loathe cigarettes. I figured I could pull the cigarette smoke into my cheeks and blow it into the tube without inhaling much smoke.  It made my nose run terribly, which I blew into my hand and smeared on his thighs. He thought that action wonderful.  We both laughed and had a great time.  I felt I had a great session, but when I got home later, I had an asthma attack like no other.  I couldn’t take in air and my roommates called the EMTs to give me oxygen.  This reinforced my hatred of cigarettes; but hooked me on becoming a Dominatrix.  For the next few years I would work professionally both in and out of a dungeon setting as a Domme.  I find my occupation to be a very satisfying one. Each new interaction, each new session I learn more about sexuality, myself, and how no one has “normal sex.”

"Queering Claudia Typhoon"-article for loyola university's LGBTQ publication by Claudia Typhoon

I don’t recall a defining moment in time in which I learned the term queer, but I do remember asking the person who self-identified as such what it meant.  They explained how they felt themselves to be and what queer meant to them nonchalantly and it just clicked for me.  I define myself as being attracted to multiple gender and sexual identities.

I find that the more I learn about sexuality, the less I can be defined by my own proclivities. Complex sexual identities are conversations, not short answers.  Most people don’t “have time” to learn and accept the identities of others.  Even worse, condemn it because it doesn't fit into their current sexual context.  I’ve found that the most backlash I’ve received are from individuals that noticeably have sexual interest that come under criticism of others; such as a “hot wife/cuckholdress” or homosexual individuals that tell me that I am selfish for not selecting just one gender to be attracted to, “just pick one already.”  It’s strange to me that those that come from non-linear sexualities would condemn me for having a non-linear sexuality myself.

I identify as queer because it makes the most sense based upon my current schema.  As I evolve and learn more I may identify as something else or choose not to identify at all. I am LGBTQ and an ally.  I have been best friends with Curtis for 15 years and we have grown and supported the evolution of our respective sexualities over the years.  I support the growth and exploration of every individual, as long as it remains safe, sane, and consensual.

The evolution of my sexuality is one of a long conscious of its being.  When I first became attracted to a particular sex I found that the curvaceous women in my parent’s Playboys were what did it for me.  When I started to masturbate I thought of jungle cats mounting me as they would with any mate—teeth, claws, and blood included.  I told my mother I was bisexual when I was 14.  She looked scared and after a pause said that as long as I marry a man and give her grandchildren, it did not matter what I was.  This angered me.  When I was about 15 or 16 I learned of the concept of BDSM. Unbeknownst to be, I had been engaging in BDSM lifestyle activities since I was 5, which I explored mostly with men.  When I moved to NYC I learned the term queer and became a Domina.  I continue to explore my own sexuality and to educate others.  I find that “normal sex” rarely happens; in my own life and of those around me.  The perpetuation of people having puritan sexual relations with each other is a farce, especially with those that are the first to condemn the sexuality of others. 

As a little girl by Claudia Typhoon

I was already a Domina when I was a baby, I would crawl over other babies without any thought to the mounds blockading me. in school I was a bit of a bully it seems, but not the typical one. I wasn't interested in pushing over children that could not defend themselves. instead I wanted larger game. I pushed around those that were bigger and stronger than me. when you are a five year old girl, that means the boys. it got to the point that my teacher sent a note home to my parents stating that I needed to stop chasing the boys, I was scaring them. I found out about reproduction in primary school as well. my mom had a brilliant pop-up book on the gestation cycle of humans. learning about sex so young was beneficial. I think because of this I approached anything sexual in nature with a healthy curiosity and made sure that I had sexual experiences on my own terms. but as much as my barbies had sex, I learned about how messy sex was the hard way. pun intended.

Sexuality is a curious thing by Claudia Typhoon

it is indeed. the idea of sex as a means of expression is something that has grabbed me and directed my sexuality since a very early age. I find that sex is at the core of every being. we are designed and evolve with our sex following suit. even our very sex organs are made in such a curious and adaptable way. our ability to walk upright and even run altered how we gave birth. our babies are immature and without hair, essentially helpless so that we could stand. this created the need for stronger communities to protect our delicate offspring. a lot of resources were dedicated in protecting and nurturing them for years. thus the resources the male could provide outside of his vitality as a sperm donor became much more pronounced. this is something we see reflected today. the smart boys that didn't get the pick of the girls when they were young but now strive to make themselves a valuable asset? oh, yes, they have their pick of women even though they may not be the most desirable mates physically. its the resources they are able to provide their offspring that attracts the most attractive mates to them. I have this theory about how penis size plays into this as well; but that is another entry. we are animals with a highly adaptive brain. when we are able to marry our animalistic sexual natures and our brilliant grey matter, we are capable of having sexual experiences that are beyond anything we ever knew was possible.