Road to Prostitution (fiction) by Claudia Typhoon

I know that when my nostrils fill with the noxious and powerful odor of cat piss that this is death. you may think that I had a poor relationship with my father, I did for a while, but Im pretty sure that my male parent loves me, as uncomfortable as it makes me to think about. I know what you are thinking, 'he loved you a little too much?', no you fucking perv, this about the death of a soul made up of many small deaths. the paper cuts and slip of knives that leads to the hemorrhaging of self. it took a day that started with a bleach load in the back of my throat and ended with a different cock squeezing out its elements onto my face and mucus up my snot-producing olfactory face-holes to realize that the sort of soul death that I was exchanging to deaden my emotions and avoid their consequences was not worth its cost. if I was to feel such shit after becoming a slip & slide, then I should start charging, my rent would have been paid ages ago. $250 hand-jobs seemed to wax the wheels before and laughter ensued, I'd rather make that again than sell my tears in exchange for guilt to soften my fears. this giving up of myself is all I have left. the hollow is easier to fill to the brim than to feel. emote he says, emote because you should, I want you to feel and I inspire you to love passionately, you will fear to feel. I always fear. I know that a woman made when the rivers flow to mounds below. my hills and pillow-loves. to caress, to possess. these are me and not for you. but I am tricked into giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and nothing. I have nothing to give and will eat not a thread to ask to be good, to ask to be well, to ask to be. the floor inspires me to caress it but I cannot allow myself to touch an unknown filth, the filth is me and I desire not to touch myself. when I do I think of you, your soft lips, your fingertips. I bargain for a sale and I give dignity for free. please inspire me to be more than me. I've started to play the day away. I will save my smiles for you. the lips I possess, bearded or make-up applied will wait to kiss your lips. you pay the price at which I want to sell. let me bargain for your kind, let me earn your pride. my back will not suffice as a vehicle of this, so stand shall I.

Sapiosexuals by Claudia Typhoon

this is a strange neologism that i've seen pop up a great deal lately. it seems to be a clever catch word. a sexual "identity" that separates those that get the inside joke from those that don't. a sapioxual is an individual that is aroused/attracted to intelligence. I find that my cock gets soft when I cannot have a stimulating discourse with another individual. but those that self-label as sapiosexuals apply it their attraction to those that are considered geeks, nerds, et cetera. as someone who is attracted to nerds and have a great many friend geek, these individuals are not necessarily brilliant. being within a geek culture means that you have a very specific knowledge about cult entertainment or advancements in technology. it does not mean that they are the be all, end all. I'm sure I will get hateful comments about it, but please consider yourself or your geeks friends objectively when comparing their intelligence to those that are not "geeks". in the way in which people use the word sapiosexual, they seem to just mean "geek love". 

I'm inclined to  side with this comment: "It's an arousal trigger of course, for some an extremely strong one, but I do not think it is a sexuality. Not unless you are attracted to intelligent people entirely irrespective of sex, gender, etc."

in finding references to sapiosexual (outside the context of journals) I found this blog entry to only be the most enlightening, but surely side with his opinion of the topic. 

http://inurashii.tumblr.com/post/29689787701/oh-sapiosexuality-i-have-been-holding-onto-a

To porn or not to porn by Claudia Typhoon

I think that women should consider two important things in their life: whether or not they want to have children and whether or not they would consider sex work. how a woman feels about these decisions will influence the course in which her life will unfold. Having children or not will determine career paths, what you desire in a partner to start. I really want to have children and I am a sex worker, I'm a Dominatrix. of course I could have children anytime, but I think that children should have a loving supportive environment and until I can give children the stable home they desire, I will not have them. Sex work is an amazing thing when a woman pursues it for her own interest, not through desperation, coercion, abuse or other outside influences. I have learned to value myself and am very confident of my worth. I know that no amount of money will let me compromise myself or my values. I can always make my rent in other ways; I am a Domina because it excites me, satisfies me, stimulates me. I am not a woman that is content with a normal job. this does not mean I have no marketable skills, it fact, I have many. now that I have been a Domina for years the next thing to consider in my BDSM career is whether or not to do porn/erotica. pornography doesn't interest me. the quality of a lot of it is poor and does not depict any sex act accurately. what does interest me is creating something worthwhile. something that stimulates that senses, elaborates upon fantasy. I feel I owe it to my film school education to do so. that is, if I decide to do so. it seems that the trend is that if I Domina wants to make money and expand upon her reputation, that films are the way to go. I have seen a few of the Dommes that I have grown up with do so. I admire their success and a part of me wants the world to see my skill and beauty, and pay for the pleasure.

we shall see.

Happy Birthday by Claudia Typhoon

at 9am tomorrow I will be turning 29, I'm very excited about this year and love getting older. I still have several lifetimes to live. to be ridiculous, I'm re-posting a letter I wrote to my lady-parts last week:

Dear Uterus, 

I just want to start off this letter by saying that I love you & respect your work; but a few days of pms rage followed by pms depression isn't very nice. And why do my back & breast have to be in such intense pain the whole time? I ask you, as a friend, to cut-it with the empty-nest thing you got going on. I know you love your eggs & spend a lot of energy in making them great, but you have let others go before it & surely more will follow. Don't worry, I think about using them and how awesome it is that your egg cells will become people, but it's not time. I promise, if you save a couple of good ones, I will be sure to use them. Just please stop torturing me. 


love,

Claudia

Kink is hereditary by Claudia Typhoon

a Domme friend and I go on glorious rants together, I find them to be educational and enlightening. something we have discussed is the likelihood of kink being hereditary. I can say from personal experience that I don't doubt it. since most of our behavior is learned, would our sexual behaviours not also be learned? granted we don't sit around and watch our parents fuck, but how we develop as children and as young adults greatly affects our sexual proclivities. even those of us who have not read much psychology are at least familiar enough with Freud's theories to agree with my previous statement. so if our upbringing is similar to our parents, might we not seek the same sexual refuge? might we not also have the same sexual dysfunctions? I would be curious to participate in such a study or read one that may already be in existence. in my case, I had a very dominant father, not that I seek dominant male partners, quite the reverse; but I do seek Dominant sexual partners. then.....I also seek submissive ones......perhaps I should not use myself as an example. let me tell you a story that creates a better parallel. last may I insisted upon helping my parents clean up their house and rid themselves of unwanted items. going through my mother's drawers I found sashes, nipple clamps, dildos, and a hand-made suede flogger. my mother seemed quiet embarrassed, but I was intrigued that she had these items. they certainly weren't to use on my father. I also really enjoy being flogged, but I like the painful snap of hard leather or rubber, not the playful caress of the suede my mother had. I'm going to do more research into this topic and let you know what I find. I'm sure the comparisons will be interesting.

"Career Call"-article for loyola university's LGBTIQ publication, part 2 by Claudia Typhoon

I assure you its not the most glamorous of occupations at all times.  I spent a lot of time writing emails and scheduling sessions.  I put a ad about once or twice a month.  I have a session at least once a week, as an independent in nyc that means $100-$300 per session.  (Industry standard currently but as a Domme becomes more skilled and gains time and experience, a rate sure to rise.)  Granted I get lots of spare time because of this to plan my Domme career, work on my art projects, socialize and such, but being an Domina is not a guaranteed income and that is hard for a lot of people.  To be a successful Domme you need to have a website, videos, perhaps sell “merchandise,” feature in magazines, model, et cetera.  This is what I am working on currently and will continue to build my reputation.

Being a Domme doesn’t simply mean that I whip people and bind them in chains.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve used if even seen either.  Being, becoming, and maintaining as a Dominatrix comes with the understanding of and climbing a very steep learning curve.  Other Dominas don’t want to give out their knowledge as its hard to come by and they do not want to encourage competition.  Also, being a  Dominant means that you need to be empathetic, able to read body language exceedingly well, and have a at least base knowledge of psychology.  Understanding how the experiences people go through shape them sexually is very important.  Each person is unique, but over time you will notice certain patterns emerge.  For example, people in powerful positions tend to be submissive in their sex lives because they need somewhere they can be vulnerable and have someone else take charge and make decisions.

Domina, Domme, Dom, Dominatrix, Dominant.  These words seem interchangeable but carry with them subtlties.  A Dominant is a person in a social or sexual situation that is in the position of power.  A Dominatrix is typically a female that practices BDSM for an income.  A Dominatrix may or may not enjoy BDSM in her own life.  A Domme is a female Dominant, a Dom, a male Dominant.  A Domina (which I identify as), is a female that practices BDSM both professionally and in her private life.  I’m sure you also notice that the D is capitalized.  In D/s, BDSM conversations it is typical to have the Dominant person indentified as being the person in power by capitalizing the D or the letter(s) of their name.  The submissive shows their position by referring to themselves in lower case or using language that places them as being the person that does not make decisions or holds any power within the D/s relationship.  Interestingly enough, the submissive holds a great deal of power within the D/s relationship.  I find that the submissive is the medium in which I express my sexuality.  The D/s dynamic is a beautiful and fulfilling when the chemistry is right between two individuals. 

"Career Call"-article for loyola university's LGBTIQ publication, part 1 by Claudia Typhoon

Becoming a professional Dominant is a pretty straightforward path.  For me it certainly was, which I take it to mean it was meant to be.  I had been interested in BDSM since I found out about it at 15.  Once I had moved to NYC, becoming a professional Dominatrix seemed to be something more attainable than the South I was raised in.

One day while looking for jobs on Craigslist I found an ad for women to work at a dungeon in Manhattan, no experience necessary.   I called and set up an appointment for a few days later.  The large and unfriendly woman asked me a series of questions; “what’s your level of experience, knowledge, interest in BDSM?”  BDSM meaning Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism.  She seemed to be testing me, watching my body language as she informed me that I had to be comfortable with bodily fluids and touching the assholes and such of strange men.  Later this would equate to a handshake instead of an eye-brow raising comment.  When she felt satisfied that I do not scare easily, she set up my schedule with me.  I would work at least 3, 8 hour shifts per week.  No guarantee of income, but $80 per session with potential for tips outside of that.  The dungeon charged $220 per session, (industry standard is currently $250 in NYC), the dungeon kept the other $140.  Since I had two other jobs at the time, I wasn’t worried about making money.

Dominant women, much like typical men in positions of power, are competitive and have erect egos that tend to bump into others and become irate when others do not move from their path.  I chose to remain quiet and out of the way my first few weeks, asking questions of the other women I felt may actually give me information instead of angry blast of insults.

My first session was a smoking session.  Something I enjoy, but my first was a departure from any subsequent ones I would have.  This was a forced inhalation smoking session.  The gentleman (who was a very lovely man) had an apparatus that was strapped to his face.  There was a tube that led to his mouth and nose.  He could only take in air through this hose.  I smoke cloves occasionally, but I loathe cigarettes. I figured I could pull the cigarette smoke into my cheeks and blow it into the tube without inhaling much smoke.  It made my nose run terribly, which I blew into my hand and smeared on his thighs. He thought that action wonderful.  We both laughed and had a great time.  I felt I had a great session, but when I got home later, I had an asthma attack like no other.  I couldn’t take in air and my roommates called the EMTs to give me oxygen.  This reinforced my hatred of cigarettes; but hooked me on becoming a Dominatrix.  For the next few years I would work professionally both in and out of a dungeon setting as a Domme.  I find my occupation to be a very satisfying one. Each new interaction, each new session I learn more about sexuality, myself, and how no one has “normal sex.”